How To Become Wiser: Proverbs

Last week, we introduced the book of Proverbs and we set the stage just a little bit.

We talked about the fact that the Proverbs are kind of like God’s fatherly instruction to us.

That when we open up the Proverbs, it’s kind of like our Father God is sitting us down in the living room to have a really important but kind of uncomfortable talk with us.

The proverbs are one of the places where God shares his fatherly wisdom with us. He gives us His fatherly advice the same way that a human father who loves his children will go out of his way to teach his children what he knows.

He will teach his children the things he’s learned throughout his years on this earth.

He will teach his children the wisdom he’s acquired, because he wants his children to be prepared for the gauntlet that is this life on earth, and He wants his children to be blessed instead of cursed.

That’s what’s happening here in the Proverbs.

And over these next several months, we are gathering together each week, opening up the Proverbs and diving deep into this fatherly wisdom and advice that God has given to us here together.

And if we seriously take hold of this fatherly advice that God offers to us in the Proverbs, and we pour ourselves into applying his guidance here in our lives, then I promise you that your life will be better at the end of this series than it is right now at the beginning.

That’s the journey that we’re going on over these next several months, and I cannot wait to take this journey together.

And so, last week we just kind of laid some of the groundwork and set some of the stage and talked a little bit about the context that the proverbs are happening in, but today we want to set the foundation.

Starting next week, we are going to be looking at what God has to say to us in the Proverbs about so many different issues that we face in life—things like how to find worthwhile friends, and how to manage our money and stay out of crushing debt, how to find a good partner or spouse, and so many other things like that.

But before we can get into those specific issues, we have to talk about the heart of the book of Proverbs.

We have to talk about the ground floor that all the rest of this is built up on.

Because at the very core of the book of Proverbs, there is this lingering question that runs through every single verse.

And that lingering question is, “What does it mean to be wise, and how can I become wise?”

Know what I’m talking about?

The Proverbs ask the question, “What does it mean to be wise, and how can I become wise?”

Maybe that sounds like a dumb question.

Maybe you don’t really care about that issue.

Maybe your perspective is, “I don’t care about being wise, I just want to be happy.”

“I don’t care about being wise. I just want to have a good time for however many years I have on this earth.”

And if that is you, I pray that the Lord will change your heart and change your desires.

I pray that He will give you a deep desire to become wise.

I pray that whatever your starting point is this morning, the Lord will compel you from deep within yourself to desire wisdom and to want to learn to be wise.

And we are going to spend this morning talking about what that means and how to do that.

And so let’s dive right in and explore that question together.

Are you Ready?

Here we go.

The Three Kinds of People

The first thing we need to understand this morning is that the Proverbs tell us that there are three kinds of people, and everyone on Earth is one of them.

You know where we’re going with this?

There are three kinds of people, and everyone on Earth is one of them.

You are one of these three kinds of people.

So as we’re going, tag yourself, right?

1. The Simple

Because the first kind of person that the Proverbs tell us about is a kind of person that it calls “the simple.”

Some people are simple.

Now, when the Proverbs refers to someone as the simple, it’s not an insult.

It’s not taking a swipe at you.

When the Proverbs talk about the simple, they’re talking about most of the people on planet Earth.

Most of the people in the world are what the Proverbs call the simple.

So, what is a simple person?

The Proverbs say that a simple person is someone who is inexperienced. Maybe naive.

It’s someone who lacks discernment.

Someone who lacks understanding.

And because that’s true, a simple person is very easily steered onto the wrong path.

You know I’m talking about?

Obviously, a young person is going to be simple, but it’s not just young people.

Middle aged and older people are just as likely to be what the Proverbs call the simple.

Because simple is what we’re born as.

And so it’s really important to understand that that a simple person is not malicious.

A simple person is not bad, they’re not evil.

But the simple are often self-destructive.

They’re constantly falling into harmful or self-destructive patterns.

They’re easily misled.

They’re easily drawn into foolishness.

Remember, we talked last week about the pull of foolishness?

The spirit of foolishness is constantly trying to draw us towards itself, so that we follow after foolishness instead of wisdom?

The Proverbs tell us that the simple are really low-hanging fruit.

The simple are easy fish to catch.

And the proverbs are written for the simple.

Proverbs 1 says that this was written:

“To give prudence to the simple,
knowledge and discretion to the young man.”

—Proverbs 1:4, WEB

That’s number one.

2. The Fool

But at the same time, the Proverbs talk about another type of person.

And on the surface this second type of person looks very similar to the simple person, but is completely different once you get down to the iceberg.

Because at exactly the same time, the Proverbs talk about someone called “the fool.”

And the fool could not be more different from the simple person.

Because a simple person is just someone who lacks wisdom, but the fool is someone who rejects wisdom.

The simple is someone who lacks understanding, but the fool is someone who rejects understanding.

The simple person lacks discernment, but the fool rejects discernment.

The Fool is someone who has committed themselves to a life of foolishness.

The Fool is someone who rejects instruction.

The Fool is someone who demands their own way.

Who refuses to take responsibility.

Who ignores and rejects God’s design for the universe.

Just listen to what the Proverbs say about this type of person called the fool.

I’m gonna waterboard you with proverbs real quick.

Are you ready?

Proverbs 18:2 says:

“A fool has no delight in understanding,
but only in revealing his own opinion.”

—Proverbs 18:2, WEB

Proverbs 29:9 says:

“If a wise man goes to court with a foolish man,
the fool rages or scoffs, and there is no peace.”

—Proverbs 29:9, WEB

Proverbs 18:6 says:

“A fool’s lips come into strife,
and his mouth invites beatings.”

—Proverbs 18:6, WEB

Proverbs 14:7–8 says:

“Stay away from a foolish man,
for you won’t find knowledge on his lips.
The wisdom of the prudent is to think about his way,
but the folly of fools is deceit.”

—Proverbs 14:7–8, WEB

Proverbs 10:23 says:

“It is a fool’s pleasure to do wickedness,
but wisdom is a man of understanding’s pleasure.”

—Proverbs 10:23, WEB

Listen to that.

That is scathing.

A fool is not somebody who is just unintelligent.

A fool is someone who has become downright malignant.

The Proverbs say that a fool is someone you cannot reason with.

A fool is someone you literally cannot have a rational conversation with.

It is impossible to convince a fool of anything, because they are so caught up in their own foolishness that they don’t have room for anything else in their brain.

They are willingly ignorant.

They say that a fool is someone who has lost their ability to reflect on themselves.

A fool has lost the ability to examine themselves.

A fool has lost the ability to stop and ask himself, “Am I right or wrong? Am I doing good or bad? Am I speaking the truth, or am I distorting the truth?”

These things have lost all meaning to a fool.

They say that a fool is almost compulsively combative. A fool is incapable of pursuing wisdom, or looking for the truth, or having an adult conversation, or calmly working through something with someone else, because in their mind, everything is a zero sum fight.

Everything is a battle.

So when you have a disagreement, they declare war right away.

They’re incapable of letting things go.

A fool is like a human wrecking ball.

A fool is like a bull in a china shop.

And because all of that is true, they say that a fool is someone you just need to stay away from.

It says there’s nothing valuable that you can learn from a fool, because everything a fool says is ultimately deceptive.

Even if they mix a little bit of truth in with it by accident, it’s so tangled up in nonsense and deception and foolishness that even trying to listen to them leaves you worse off than you were before.

And so the best thing you can do when you are confronted with a fool is just leave their presence.

Just get the heck away from them.

Just keep them out of your life, because a fool will have the same effect on your life as a dirty syringe will.

Letting a fool into your life is like sticking some homeless guy’s used meth needle into your arm.

You have nothing to gain, and it’s just going to infect you.

And so, the obvious question that hangs over all of this is: How do you get like this?

You don’t get like this overnight, do you?

But you get like this over years of rejecting instruction.

You get like this, over years of refusing to take responsibility for yourself.

You get like this over years of ignoring God’s design for the universe and rejecting God’s desire for your life.

You become a fool slowly and methodically, as year after year you commit just a little bit more and a little bit more and a little bit more to your own foolishness, until one day, you have drifted so far you no longer recognize the difference between what’s wise and what’s stupid, what’s true and what’s false, what’s good and what’s bad, what’s right and what’s wrong.

That’s the fool. And the proverbs are written to show the bankruptcy of living like this.

That’s number two.

3. The Wise

But there’s one more type of person that the Proverbs talks about, and you can probably guess exactly where we’re going with this.

Because at exactly the same time as all this, the Proverbs talk about a type of person that they call “the wise.”

The Proverbs sketch out this image of what it looks like to be a wise person.

And this image that the Proverbs give of wisdom is absolutely beautiful.

And so the best way to define a wise person, I think, is this.

Are you ready?

Here we go:

A wise person is someone who lives out of an awestruck reverence for the Lord that drives them to seek God’s will and design for every part of life.

You remember we talked last week about the Fear of the Lord?

The wise person is someone who fears the Lord in a way that causes them to want guidance.

To desire guidance.

A wise person is someone who wants to learn and grow.

So the proverbs tell us that a wise person is the opposite of a fool.

A fool has committed to a life of foolishness, but a wise person has committed to a life of learning and growing.

A foolish person has committed to rejecting instruction, but a wise person has committed to seeking out instruction.

A foolish person just wants to stay the way they are and be left alone, but a wise person wants to grow and become better.

But a wise person is not a special class of person that’s up here above all the others.

No. A wise person is someone who started out as a simple person, but who did the work to grow.

And the proverbs are written in order to teach us how to do that.

They ask, “How do I become wise?”

To Become Wise, We Have to Learn to Accept Correction

And there’s about a million things we could say in response to that question, but the Proverbs distill the answer into something unbelievably simple.

The Proverbs distill the essence if wisdom into exactly ten words.

Are you ready for them?

Here we go:

To become wise, we have to learn to accept correction.

Know what I’m talking about?

To become wise, we have to learn to accept correction.

Real quick, let’s say this all together, just to burn this into our heads. Ready? Okay:

To become wise, we have to learn to accept correction.

Let me break this down just a little bit, because there’s a few moving parts that are involved in this.

Because when I say that we have to learn to accept correction, I mean a handful of different things.

1. Accept That We Know Very Little

Number one: I mean we have to accept that we know very little.

Know what I’m talking about?

We have to accept that we know very little.

I love the way Proverbs 10:17 puts this. It says:

“He is in the way of life who heeds correction,
but he who forsakes reproof leads others astray.”

—Proverbs 10:17, WEB

You cannot gain wisdom if you’re convinced you’re always right.

I’m gonna say that again: You cannot gain wisdom if you’re convinced you’re always right.

Now, some of us don’t even realize that we think we’re always right.

Know what I’m talking about?

I would never consciously say, “I, Ryan Ellington, am always right,” but when it comes down to it, I pretty much always think I’m right.

Can anybody relate to that?

I’m admitting to a flaw here.

It’s stupid for me to do that, and it’s stupid for you to do that.

But my natural tendency is to assume that I’m right and they’re wrong all the time.

My natural tendency is to assume that I know what’s best, and everybody needs to shut up and listen to me.

But here’s the thing: I’m wrong a lot.

I’m wrong about things a pretty good portion of the time.

I don’t know what I’m talking about sometimes.

There are major things that I have never even considered.

A whole lot of times my perspective is flawed or skewed or incomplete.

And that’s true not only of me but of every single person on planet Earth.

Like, there are things that your parents understand that you just don’t.

There are things that your friend understands that you just don’t.

There are things that medical experts understand that you just don’t.

There are things that scientists understand that you just don’t.

There are things that older people are going to understand that you as a younger person just do not.

There are things that people who are 20 or 30 years old today trying to make it in the job market and trying to make it in the housing market and so forth understand that you—who grew up i20, 30, 40 years ago, just do not understand, right?

Like, if you came home from World War Two back in the mid 20th century, and you bought a house on a single income, where you worked at the sheet metal factory, and then had four kids and you raised them all and sent them all to college on your one income, then you don’t understand what it’s like for people our age today—and a lot of the advice that you think you have for how to get ahead and stuff like that doesn’t actually work anymore, because it’s a totally different ballgame now.

There are some things we just don’t know, and the only way to become wise, regardless of how old you are, is to accept that fact.

Learning to accept correction means accepting that we know very little.

That’s number one.

2. Look for Wise People Who Can Counsel Us

But that leads directly to number two.

And that is that we need to look for wise people who can counsel us.

Know what I’m talking about?

We need to look for wise people who can counsel us.

Here’s the truth: You probably don’t need to join another Bible study group right now, you need to find a mentor.

You probably don’t need to read yet another Christian book from Barnes and Noble right now, you need to find a mentor.

You probably don’t need to start listening to yet another famous preacher on YouTube or Spotify right now, you need to find a flesh and blood human mentor that you can meet with regularly, who can invest in you and disciple you and teach you what they know.

Proverbs 15:12 says:

“A scoffer doesn’t love to be reproved;
he will not go to the wise.”

—Proverbs 15:12, WEB

In other words: Stupid people never look for advice and guidance, but wise people do exactly that.

Proverbs 25:12 says:

“As an earring of gold, and an ornament of fine gold,
so is a wise reprover to an obedient ear.”

—Proverbs 25:12, WEB

If you want to become wise, what you need is for an experienced person to guide you.

You need to sit under the guidance of someone wise and discerning and understanding—and be willing to listen.

You need to look for wise people who can counsel you.

That’s number two: The single most important thing you can do on the path to wisdom is to look for wise people who can counsel us.

3. Surround Ourselves with People Who Are Willing to Correct Us

And that leads us directly to number three, which is that we need to surround ourselves with people who are willing to correct us.

You don’t just need one mentor who will guide you once a week when you meet up at Bojangles. You need a village of people.

You need a community of people.

Proverbs 11:14 says:

“Where there is no wise guidance, the nation falls,
but in the multitude of counselors there is victory.”

—Proverbs 11:14, WEB

To become wise, we need to surround ourselves with people who are willing to correct us.

Here’s what that means in practical terms: Your friend group should not be composed of yes men.

Your people should not just be composed of folks who kinda nod along to whatever insane nonsense you’re talking about at any given time.

Know what I’m talking about?

If your people aren’t willing to challenge you, they don’t actually love you.

We’re going to talk about this more next week, but if your people never confront you about your BS, they don’t actually care about you.

Like, when you’re thinking about leaving your wife because your 20 year old secretary bats her eyes at you every day at work, you need your friend at the gym to tell you to pull your head out of your butt, go back home to that woman your own age that you’re married to, and start washing the dishes more often or something.

When you’re thinking about quitting your job with no alternative lined up because you don’t like the atmosphere there, you need your friends to be there and ready to say, “Whoa. You need to hold on until you’ve got a sure thing set up on the other side. You need to stick with this for now even if it’s unpleasant, because if you quit now without a backup plan, things are way more likely to get worse than to get better.”

You need a multitude of counselors.

You need to surround yourself with people who are willing to correct you, who are willing to challenge you, who are willing to confront you when you’re experiencing temporary insanity.

I can testify to the fact that my life would be very, very different if I didn’t have people like that surrounding me to safeguard me from making some of the worst decisions of my life.

My life has literally been saved by people who loved me enough to say, “Dude, you’re being so stupid right now and you need to stop.”

You need that too.

That’s number three: To become wise, we need to learn to accept correction.

4. Ask the Lord to Correct Us

But all of this hinges on number four: And that is that we need to ask the Lord to correct us.

To become wise, we need to ask the Lord to correct us.

Step one in seeking wisdom—before you even hit the books or go talk to someone else—is that you need to talk to the Lord.

You need to say, “Lord, I know very little. Lord, My understanding is limited. Lord, My perspective is limited. So I need you to teach me. I need you to correct me. I need you to set me straight. And I am opening myself up to whatever means you decide to use to do that. So whoever you send my way, I’m gonna listen to them. Whatever you lead me to read or study, I’m gonna take it seriously and listen to it.”

You need to go to the Lord and you need to say, “I’m done demanding my own way. I am opening myself up to your way. So now correct me. My ears are open. I’m listening.”

To become wise, we have to learn to accept correction.

Wisdom Is Reaching Out to You

Now, I am fully aware that all of that may sound overwhelming.

Everything we just described is an unbelievably long road, isn’t it?

And right now it might feel like the road to wisdom is so long and so far off that there is no way to get from where you are to where you want to be.

But that’s not true.

Because just like we talked about last week, the core truth at the heart of the Proverbs is the fact that you can change.

You are not stuck where you are.

God’s wisdom is not a jar of cookies set up high on the top of the refrigerator that you can’t reach with your little kid hands.

Now. God’s wisdom is reaching out to you right now.

He is holding it out to you right now.

Wisdom is calling out to you in the streets, saying, “Come follow my voice.”

Because when you pursue wisdom with a sincere heart, wisdom pursues you right back.

And wisdom grabs hold of your hand.

And wisdom starts to pull you onto the right path, step by step by step.

And so even if the road to wisdom feels way too far off for you to ever even begin to reach right now, do not despair.

We are doing this together.

We are pursuing wisdom together.

We’re going to spend these coming months poring through God’s revealed wisdom in the book of Proverbs so that we can apply his fatherly guidance to our lives as a community—and then give him the glory when he transforms our lives for the better through it.

And I cannot wait to come out the other side with all of you.